A while ago (About 6 weeks) my girlfriend SH broke up with me. We had been going out for 2 and a half years or so and she ment a lot to me. We broke up because she is moving to Oregon and didn't feel as though she could carry on a long distance relationship. Also, and I might add seperatly, she began to develop a relationship with RW who is a long time family friend. (And actually her former babysitter!) For a while I tricked myself into thinking that SH would wake up from her dreams of RW and come back to me, realizing that I am obviously the best choice. Now after a perliminary trip to Oregon SH decided that her and I getting back togeather was at 0 percent. This wasn't a shock to me, I knew all along that SH wouldn't have made this decssion on a whim, and that she was going to go through with it no matter how unfair or stupid it may have seemed to me. I appriciate the mannor in which she handled this entire process making it very easy for me to reach the point where I am now, that being, acceptance.

My feeling coming away from this is that SH and I were in love. Now that seems very dramatic, but I feel as though the term "love" isn't understood by most people. Love occurs in a relationship when the two people are involved are attracted to one another and are progressing in the same direction. By those standards we were in love, we were comitted to each other and experienced everything that people in relationships should. It wasn't anything supernatural, there weren't fireworks, it was very normal but very enjoyable. People, girls in particular, seem to feel that love will carry with it this overwhelming feeling that will sweep them off their feet into the marrige they've always dreamed about. To me it is something that can be achieved with anyone for any amount of time. Which would explain how people get divorced after 20 years of being married. Or why people will date for so long then decide they're not happy. Relationships exist for the short time when two people are on the same page and feel the same about that given page. It is very unspectacular and not very special.

With all of that said, apart of me will always be with SH and remember her for all the good she did for me. She did a lot and contributed directly to the person I am today, for that I am thankful. It is unfortunate that we didn't work out, but like I said, I understand now that we are on different pages with different ideas of what those pages say.

FN signed online. In response, I messaged her saying "Hey."

FN then signed off not once acknowledging that I had said "Hey" to her. Irate I immediately called her cell phone saying "If you think you can pull this shit on me you got another thing coming sister!"

"What?"

"I want you to acknowledge that I said 'Hey'."

"Well you're yelling at me so I don't acknowledge that."

"You already did by answering your phone! So I win."

"I hate you."

My new paradigm:

Because it is presented to me as fact I will accept it as fact.

Another example of poker being a guiding light for living.

"... everything you do at the poker table needs to have a reason-there needs to be a well thought-out process behind each play." (Howard Lederer and Annie Duke, Phil Gordan's Little Green Book, XVIII)

"Why don't you buy a portable hard drive?" Lan said, "Then I can give you all the music I have on my computer."

"How much does one of those cost?" CH asked

"Around one hundred."

"Yeah right. If I'm gonna spend a hundred dollars I'm buying a cowboy hat."

"Why don't you buy a hard drive and a cowboy hat?"

"I don't have two hundred dollars to spend."

Nothing pleases me more than hearing President Bush's approval rating being demonstrated with a slide whistle.

A lot of times I find myself coming out of movies or conversations that leave me empty. I think to myself "Wouldn't I be more happy if I had just done 1,000 push-ups or read a book on Freud instead?" It seems as though this should apply not only to short experiences like a conversation but to anything we do in our life. The trick is that we need to know before and not after that we would have rather done 1,000 push-ups.

I was talking to my cousine ealier today when I said, "I gotta go, I haven't gotten anything done today."

AG:"Alright, I went to English... we watched a movie about Bond Girls, so I guess I havn't done anything either."

Me: "What in the world?"

My theory is that the inspiration for Marvin Gaye's album Let's Get It On stems from his childhood when kids would ask Marvin if he was "Gay" or not. Hence calling his sexuality into question but also pointing out that his last name is funny.

The Yankees were eliminated! Next, the White Sox and Cardinals on the choping block! Let's go Astros!

While listening to Broken Social Scene's song "Superconnected" on their new album I like to imagine that they're actually saying "Suited Connecters"

A woman should never lose in a physical fight to a man. This even applies to the short 100 pound girls that I find myself attracted to. I think my new test for a good wife is that I will challenge her to a fight and see if she wins or not. If she loses then obviously she isn’t the woman I want bearing my super linebacker sons. If she wins then she has the problem solving skills necessary to coexist with me on a large timeline.

By now I’m sure you’re saying, “Andy, how on earth would these tiny girls ever stand a chance against your much bigger frame?” The answer is this: I would expect my future wife to be able to reason that I would want sex or sex acts over winning a stupid fight. So all she would have to do is avoid my first few punches then we both win !

This is a thought that just came into my mind, who are the top five bands making music today? (By "making music today" I mean bands that have only released cds post 2000. For example Basement Jaxx would not be elligable for this list because their first album came out in 1999.) I know The Strokes need to be on there, but after that I'm not very sure. Once I put more thought into it I'll get back with my answers!

The Indians took it to the last day of the season and they were just a little short. I supopse with a young and talented team like the Indians there's always next year. Until then, fuck the Yankees and fuck the Red Sox. Let's go Astros!

Recently, I was talking to a friend who said that a friend of theirs didn't like Pavement. This was so crazy to me that I decided not to accept it, so I made a list of "Things I actually hear when people tell me they don't like Pavement."

1. "The street pavement was really hot today."

2. "Encasement is the state of being encased."

3. "You're really good looking Andy."

4. "Girls have really bad taste in pop culture and I, a girl, do not like Pavement."

5. "I'm a racist."