I just might get 22-9 tattooed on my arm.

"That'll be $3.49."

"Fuck CVS."

"Excuse me?"

"I paid $6.99 for this no less than a week ago, fuck CVS!"

"Have a nice night!"

Before the season started I thought maybe, just maybe, the Raiders might go eight and eight this season. After the first two games I realized that was far too optomistic. Then today I saw ESPN posing this question:

"Is there a team worse than the Raiders in recent memory?"

The fact that it is even being asked hurts more than if it is true or not.

Another piece of the puzzle has fallen into place for me.

In second grade, on a friday right before school let out, my teacher Mrs. Rooso told us to find out our address and phone number because on Monday we would be presenting that to the class. Over the weekend I forgot to find out my address and phone number because, well, I forgot. So when Monday came and I remembered what I forgot I spent ten minutes or so trying to desprately recall the numbers that I should have already committed to memory. Time ran out, Mrs. Rooso called me up to the front and I had to admit that I didn't know. I was embarassed and ashamed that I couldn't do what everyone else in the class could do, which was underlined by Mrs. Rooso telling me that everyone else had done it. I ended up crying which finished what has become a fairly unhappy memory for me.

This has to do with a few things in my current life now. I don't like ordering things online or on the phone and I don't like going to the post office. It's not that I conciously dislike these things, I just avoid them and end up putting them off until it either has to be done or doesn't matter if it is done. It's silly, but that's what fear is. It's all kind of silly. Frankly, I'm kind of embarassed that I was embarassed in the first place and that I have let it effect me for so long. But now I know, and knoweldge is half the battle!