MY GIRLFRIEND IS BETTER THAN YOURS

Today SH posed this question to me:

"Genetic engineers at Johns Hopkins University announce that they have developed a so-called "super gorilla". Though the animal cannot speak, it has a sign language lexicon of over twelve thousand words, an intelligence quotient of almost 85, and-most notably- a vague sense of self awareness. Oddly, the creature(who weighs seven hundred pounds) becomes fascinated by football. The gorilla aspires to play the game at it's highest level and quickly develops the rudimentary skills of a defensive end. ESPN analyst Tom Jackson speculates that this gorilla would be "borderline unblockable" and would likely average six sacks a game (although Jackson concedes the beast might be susceptible to counters and misderection plays). Meanwhile, the gorilla has made it clear he would never intentionally injure any opponent.

you are commissioner of the nfl: would you allow this gorilla to sign with the oakland raiders?"